Sunday, February 17, 2008

Weekly Warning 2/17/08

Check your bra!!!!

The more important the meeting increases the likelihood that your left bra strap will snap in the middle of the meeting. This gives you three options:

Option 1: Do nothing. However, this will cause your left boob to sag down resulting in a lopsided pair of knockers. Watch in alarm as the other person tries not to stare at your increasingly disfigured chest.

Option 2: Discreetly pull up the broken side's cup up into your armpit. A double edged option. You will need to keep your left arm down at all times to hold the cup into place. You will end up looking like a six year old playing freeze tag, causing the other person to wonder at your strangeness.

Option 3: Ask politely to be excused to go the restroom. In a MacGyver moment, you quickly wrap a piece of toilet paper (after briefly thanking God that public restroom toilet paper rolls are actually sandpaper remnants) around the broken strap. Say a pray to the patron saint of undergarments and finish the meeting.

I did all three.

3 comments:

Ursula said...

Nice work! LOL A couple years ago, I was wearing a bra with plastic straps - I stretched up and SNAP! A quick trip to the bathroom and a paper clip fixed it up ... THAT time. The very next day it happened again with a different bra.

KNITSABELLA said...

Oh my gosh, I laughed so hard when I read this, though I totally shouldn't. You are too funny and your descriptions are awesome - it almost felt like I was experiencing it along with you. Here's to wishing that the patron saint of undergarments smiles on you for the foreseeable future :)

Jane Doe Jenn said...

LOL, that happened to me in a mall, while shopping. Only it was the back snaps that somehow came undone. I was about 8 months pregnant and I think perhaps my ribs were expanding to fit the ever growing baby in there, and I was so embarrassed! I couldn't reach to pull it back together, so I had to ask a stranger if she could help me in the back of a store. Her reaction was to give me a questionable look, hesitate, look around, then she decided to help me out.