Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Warning: Feeding eggs to your dog will result in "egg butt".

Feeding eggs to your dog will result in "egg butt".

Zack, our goofy yet lovable Collie, has wolfed down some scrambled eggs about 20 minutes ago. Not that I mind--I managed to snag the bacon before he pounced.

What happens now should go down in the Geneva Convention rules for humane treatment of prisoners. Yes, the dog has such powerful gas that is responsible for global warming. Stop the presses, we have a new renewable energy source except that, we need gas masks whenever we get within two feet of Zack.

It amazes me that Zack shows no reaction, gagging or fainting when the smell hits. Personally, I claw at my throat and frantically search for the air masks to fly down from the ceiling. It is too late when I realize that I'm not on a plane and I manage to scramble outside.

Zack follows and I swear I see some squirrels with gas masks on. Nervy little buggers.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

'Twas the Day after Christmas

'Twas the day after Christmas
And all through my head
Came the pounding of light sabers
and children demanding to be fed.

With the hubby gone to his Sunday job
and here I am stuck with the kids and the dog
I slipped and fell on a stray green lego
and yelled until I was as hoards as a frog.

Finally the noise has subsided
and the dog stopped the howling doom
I just hope I can stay until New Year's
as a guest of the mental hospital's padded room.

Thursday, December 23, 2010


It's been almost one and a half years since I last posted. I apologize from the bottom of my very busy heart.

Let's see what has happened in that time....

1. No longer a social worker. Family circumstances changed so I changed careers. With a prayer in my heart and Dr. Pepper at my side, I took and passed the GACE (the teacher certification exam in Georgia). I am now an elementary school teacher! So many little minds to confuse and so little time!!!

2. Our beloved Aussie, Zoe, passed in February. She was 15 years old and arthritis had gotten the best of her. She no longer could terrorize the Collie, Zack. Dave and I made one of the most difficult decisions and had her put to sleep. We were with her when she died.

3. Wesley is in 4th grade and Ray is in 2nd. Neither has been arrested or charged with a crime. Both are doing wonderful both in school and in church. Both bicker to the point that I have to dye my hair every month to cover the stress-induced gray.

4. Dave is still on the local school board and is working for a local company. He still is the love of my life and my rock.

5. I have suffered no broken bones or any major medical trauma. For those who do not know, I am Queen Grace-less the Klutz. Any year we do not meet our out of pocket for insurance is a good year.

6. I still knit and bake. This past week, I've baked doggie treats for a Christmas present to our parish priest's dog. Zack was taste tester and seems to like them. I told him not to get used to weekly homemade treats. He replied with a belch and a snort.

Anyway, I will try my best to post weekly. I hope to hear from y'all.

Have a safe and Merry Christmas!!!