Saturday, August 30, 2008

Weekly Warning 8/31/08

Nasal decongestants do not work as well as prescription pain killers for broken bones.

I dedicate this weekly warning to the "accident" that led me to knitting.

Three years ago on 8/27, I was tooling around a park on my mountain bike when I flipped the sucker going 20 miles an hour. I shattered my left wrist and broke my left elbow.

After the surgery the next day (a Saturday), my dear Nurse Ratchet (my darling hubby) administered a "pain killer" for my arm that night. He thoughtfully left the next dose on the counter. I woke up an hour later because my arm was throbbing in pain. Normally, I tolerate pain well. After all, I have had two c-sections and was driving a car three days later on both without any pain killers. Shhh, don't tell my doctor.

I moaned and impatiently waited two more hours for my next dose. I took it and fell asleep within a few minutes. A mere thirty minutes later, I woke up in pain. I was desperate--I even woke Dave up to take me to hospital for a morphine drip.

Dave got dressed and grabbed the prescription bottle. When he uttered, "Uh-oh", I knew it was not going to be good. He had been giving me my prescription allergy medication instead of my pain killers.

But some good came of the broken arm. My physical therapist suggested I take up knitting to loosen the wrist. And for two days after the surgery, I had no sinus headache.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Weekly Warning 8/24/08

If you run over a snake, they do not squash but rather flip up into the air and land on your windshield.

Using your windshield wipers only makes the snake angry and pushes the reptile closer to your driver's side window. Unless you have the reflexes of Superman, don't try to roll your window up. The snake does not like to get caught in the window. I'm sure the little forked tongue was cussing me out.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Stash Shawl

I'm trying to be very good, really I am. I'm slowly using up my enormous stash of yarn. I have frogged the Stolen Moments shawl. I just wasn't feeling the love. So I found a pattern for a scarf and tweaked it. Well, to be honest, I totally re-did it.

Using a worsted weight yarn (I think it was a Knit Picks or it may have been a Cascade wool) and size 19 straights, cast on 40 stitches.

Knit 3 rows
Row 4: K1, (YO, K2tog until you have one stitch left), K1
Row 5: K2, P36, K2
Row 6: K40
Row 7: K2, P36, K2

Repeat Rows 4-7 until you have your desired length.

Knit 3 final rows to finish. Block.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Shameless Contest Promotions Part II

Knit scarves for the Red Scarf Project. They distribute handmade scarves to foster kids in college.

Darcy is having a contest on her blog.

Knitting in Red Shoes has a wonderful contest.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Weekly Warning 8/17/08

While wearing a large foam turtle suit in 100 degree weather for several hours, don't put ice on your head.

The ice will melt, causing you to look like you peed in the turtle suit. This in turn will make all young children afraid of you when you're there to entertain kids.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Weekly Warning 8/10/08

Do not allow your children to bring more than one toy to a church service.

Regan, my lovely five year old daughter, brings a stuffed animal to Mass every time we go. Ordinarily, I encourage it because it's extremely difficult to pray and play thumb wars at the same time.

In the past, Regan has brought in Transformers, stuffed animals, and once her Anne Boleyn Barbie doll (with the head off) attired in a lady of the evening type outfit my mother in law bought. Ray has been calling it Anne but she is totally unaware why I call that particular doll Anne. I thought I saw the priest twitch when Regan wanted Anne blessed last month. I had a calm yet useful talk with Ray about bringing incomplete toys to church.

A couple of weeks she brought in a new stuffed animal--a Beanie Baby Goat as well as sneaking in Anne.

After Mass, Regan leaps out of the church and approaches the visiting priest--fortunately our regular priest was on vacation.

Here's a gist of the conversation:

Ray: "Look at my new toy [meaning the Beanie baby goat]. His name is Horny Goat."

The priest opens up his mouth and then closes it.

I finally get there after my stomach drops when I heard "Horny Goat". To my utter but not so surprising (after all Regan) astonishment, Anne Boleyn Barbie complete with feather boa is straddling "Horny Goat" in what might be construed as an intimate manner

Not wanting to make a scene, because a) Regan has no clue what "horny" means outside of having antlers, b) Ray also thinks Trashy Dressed Anne is merely using Horny has transportation and c) we are right outside a church, I usher her out while telling the priest that Wesley is waiting for us.

I'm sure Ray is the talk of the priest staff meeting this month and now has an entire chapter in priest school devoted to strange children and their freaky parents.

FYI--Dave has since found the head of Anne under Ray's bed and reattached head to body. I've convinced Ray to rename the goat Pointy. The infamous feather boa has mysteriously disappeared.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Secret Pal Package

Thank you, Chibi Wordsworth, aka my Secret Pal. I love it all.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Victory Scarf

While I haven't really posted a lot about my knitting recently, I, in fact, still do knit. I've been stuck doing baby caps for my work. Nothing really special about the pattern so there's not much to post.

I lost my scarf last spring. Actually, I am still kind of upset about it. It was the first thing I made for myself and I'm sure it's wasting away somewhere in a dump. Granted it wasn't the prettiest thing every knitted. In fact, some might consider it the scarf most likely to grace the Bride of Frankenstien's neck but I wore it proudly like a badge of honor.

So in memory of the atrocious acrylic (yes, I knit with acrylic and I even like some of it) scarf, I made a new one. However, this one was made with Twinkle Handknits 100% virgin wool in Dusty Pink. It was a dream to knit.

Without further ado, here is the Victory Scarf. I almost knit this entire scarf while waiting for the election results in Dave's bid for Board of Education.

I used size 19 needles and nearly two skeins of Twinkle Handknits bulky virgin wool. But any bulky yarn will do.

Cast on 12.

Knit 2 rows.

Row 3: K2, (YO, K2tog) repeat until you have two stitches left, k2
Row 4: Knit
Row 5: Repeat row 3
Row 6: Knit
Row 7: Knit
Row 8: Knit

Repeat Rows 3-8 until you get the length you want. Bind off.

You may want to block it a bit to stretch out yo's. I also slipped the first stitch of every row to tighten the edges.

Right now, a semi-matching cloche is in the works.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Weekly Warning 8/3/08

Cheap fruity wine from Walmart causes horrible hangovers.

That's why this weekly warning is late.