Saturday, May 7, 2011

Warning: A 7 year old girl should never wear six different colognes at the same time.

Question: How many showers does it take to remove the stench of 6 colognes?

Answer: Not three or four or five.

Regan, Regan, Regan. My beautiful girl was watching Justin Bieber (aka the "Squirrel") or was it Big Time Rush? I readily admit my shortcomings as a mother who was more worried about a ninety pound dog trying to eat a snake (another warning for another time) than monitoring the show my daughter was watching.

I caught a whiff of a familiar scent while pulling Zack back into the house. Was that my Amazing Grace cologne? Then another breezed by. Now I know that was my Tocca Colette scent. When the third, fourth, fifth and six whafted by (and in no particular order: In Bloom, Clinque Happy, Chloe, and D&G The One), I knew something or someone had been in my room.

I ruled out the dog and other male family members since Dave and Wes were at a Scout Pack Meeting.

Regan was dancing around my bed to a BTR or Squirrel Song in a perfumed haze.

I immediately tried to take a breath but choked. I managed to grab Regan before she applied my lavender foot cream.

"Regan," I started.

"Don't you love it? London wears perfume." Regan smiled

"London? As in the city?"

"Mom," Regan rolled her eyes and I spied my Clinque eyeshadow on her eyelid. "London on TV." Apparently, my repertoire of 'tween TV characters suck and my daughter was not afraid to let me know.

"Get in the shower and hose off." I ordered.

I felt a little better when Regan aquiesced somewhat docilely. Then I caught her sing, "Baby, Baby" by the Squirrel as Zack took off with my lavender foot cream and his rubber chicken.