Saturday, May 31, 2008

Weekly Warning 6/1/08

When traveling with young kids, be sure to bring an extra set of underwear that's in easy reach.

After FIFTEEN straight hours (yes, you read right)in a van with two children, things can, well, get tense and stressful. Yelling and feet stomping are the norm and the children were not much better either.

We roll into Pintlala, Alabama looking for a restroom and/or Burger King. Preferably a restroom because Wesley is bouncing in his seat from having to pee. We find a restroom and Wesley completes his business. I buckle Wesley up and turn to Regan. She promptly spills her rainbow slushie all over me. I look like an escapee from the Lucky Charms factory.

I packed an extra set of clothes for both kids in my tote for such emergencies but did I pack for myself? Nope, no, nada. My suitcase is, of course, on the bottom of the luggage pile. So I had to sit in a freezing pile of melting, sticky slushie goo drenching my pants and shirt all the way to Galveston, TX. I also didn't notice the slushie spillover onto my purse and brush. Did you know cherry syrup, while it smells good, makes your hair stand up like you just sprayed four cans of Aqua Net on it?

When people at a truck stop look at you funny and give you a wide berth, you know it's not a good thing.

Secret Pal Swap Questionnaire

1. What is/are your favorite yarn/s to knit with? What fibers do you absolutely *not* like? I like all yarn except scratchy. Ick, ick, ick. I'm partial to alpaca but will use everything.

2. What do you use to store your needles/hooks in? Knit Picks are in their case, lovingly put away. I have a tool box for my straights and three drawer storage for my notions.

3. How long have you been knitting & how did you learn? Would you consider your skill level to be beginner, intermediate or advanced? I've been knitting for almost four years. I'm a knitting mutt. I learned to cast on and knit at a LYS, purl with a friend and bind off with another. An elderly lady taught me several years ago but it didn't "take" at the time. I'm an intermediate knitter.

4. Do you have an Amazon or other online wish list? No

5. What's your favorite scent? I love lavender and roses. Not too heavy. I like Brighton Laugh Cologne and Philosophy's Amazing Grace

6. Do you have a sweet tooth? Favorite candy? Does a whole mouth count? Love, love, love chocolate.

7. What other crafts or Do-It-Yourself things do you like to do? Do you spin? I tried soapmaking but it didn't hold my interest and the second degree burns on my hands didn't help either. Decoupage is the devil's medium. So the answer is no, I'm not crafty elsewhere. I don't spin either as my children would completely tear up any spinning wheel.

8. What kind of music do you like? Can your computer/stereo play MP3s? (if your buddy wants to make you a CD) I love Celtic and soft rock (CCR, the Eagles, etc) I do have a cd and an mp3.

9. What's your favorite color(s)? Any colors you just can't stand? I love muted beach colors like blue, green, taupe, peach, etc. I don't like bold colors like orange, lime green, etc.

10. What is your family situation? Do you have any pets? Married with two human children and two canine children. The canines are evil and the children are lovable but destructive.

11. Do you wear scarves, hats, mittens or ponchos? Yes to all.

12. What is/are your favorite item/s to knit? Scarves and shawls and hats.

13. What are you knitting right now? 2 shawls.

14. Do you like to receive handmade gifts? Yes

15. Do you prefer straight or circular needles? Bamboo, aluminum, plastic? KP Options all the way. I feel like a cheerleader.

16. Do you own a yarn winder and/or swift? Yes to both.

17. How old is your oldest UFO? I recently frogged back all the UFOs but I do have a sock that needs completing. It's about four months old.

18. What is your favorite holiday? Christmas followed by Halloween

19. Is there anything that you collect? Scooby Doo, Texas stuff.

20. Any books, yarns, needles or patterns out there you are dying to get your hands on? What knitting magazine subscriptions do you have? Creative Kntting is my only subscription. I have too many books.

21. Are there any new techniques you'd like to learn? I just would like to improve my lace knitting.

22. Are you a sock knitter? What are your foot measurements? I'm a novice sock knitter. I've tried to get addicted but I don't see it.

23. When is your birthday? Early March

24. Are you on Ravelry? If so, what's your ID? Hissyknit on KR and Ravelry.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Weekly Warning 5/24/08

When packing for a trip, do not allow your kids to help unless you watch them..

Since summer vacation has arrived, I wanted to help all the parents and parents-to-be.

Regan (of course) decided to help Mommy pack for our trip to Charleston last year. She was showing me how she dressed her stuffed dog, Zack (yes, she named her stuffed animal after our live dog, Zack) in her old bikini. She chattered about on about something while handing me the clothes I had folded.

Things were dandy until we arrived at the hotel to unpack. I unfolded my favorite yellow shirt when something clinked onto the bed and rolled on the floor. I reached under the hotel bed--brave, I know. There, uncapped, was my favorite lipstick.

With my stomach sinking down to my feet, I looked at the shirt. Streaks of mauve criss-crossed the top.

Regan came bouncing into the room. I questioned her very quietly. She smiled and said she didn't want me to be without my make-up so she put my lipstick inside the shirt and wasn't I proud of her? I knew I couldn't be angry because she wanted to help so I politely said thank you. She be-bopped out while I continued to unpack. Every one of my clothes had make-up folded into them. Some had caps; some did not. Suffice to say, I have a reputation in Charleston as the nutcase who wears Picasso inspired lipstick shirts and foundation blue jean shorts.

I'm packing alone this year to Texas.

Thank you, Amanda!

Just got my Knitted Shawls book from Amanda. Thank you--I love it.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Bad Christy! Bad!

I've been a bad blogger. I'm very sorry. School is ending in our district and I've been subbing full time. We're also planning a vacation back home to Texas later this summer as well as Scout Camp, Karate classes for Regan and Dave's campaign for school board. I get home and there's underwear (clean to be exact) to be folded and the knucklehead Collie is moltening his winter coat in droves. To be honest, I'm exhausted.

One of the non-working, un-parent things Dave and I have done was to kidnap Dave's brother-in-law's stuffed Opus. We're sending anonymous emails to Skip holding Opus ransom.

Wish me luck! I have a job interview next month. It's a part time social work job working with new mothers and volunteers at a local child advocacy center.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Weekly Warning 5/18/08

You don't really need five gallons of gas to light a fire.

I claim complete innocence in this instance because this warning is totally from my dear husband, Dave. This is his first weekly warning.

Ten years ago, we bought our first house and Dave was going to burn some leaves. Though we were still newlyweds, I already experienced the inherent genetic male propensity toward fire and knew trouble was brewing. (Sounds kind of frou-frou, doesn't it? I found a new site that changes all my words to sound like I have a doctorate!!). In short, Dave and his father are fascinated with fire. Some throwback from their early caveman days. My father-in-law, Pop Pop, once held a lighted match in the mouth of a natural gas line to see if gas was coming out. I believe he was on his fourth beer at the time.

Dave throws a match on the gas-drenched dry leaves. At first, nothing happened and Dave leans in to see if the match went out. In that split second, a large backdraft worthy of Ron Howard and some special effects team whooshs toward Dave. His meager garden hose is no match for the inferno. Fortunately, the gas had burned itself out already as well as Dave's face hair (eyebrows). He didn't have to shave for a week.

Makes you marvel that Dave is still alive ten years later with no third degree burns on his body. He does have poison ivy scars (yes, you read that right--scars from poison ivy). Please join us in pray for Wesley. We hope the fire stupidity does not pass down to him.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Bunch o' Contests

Createcraft is having a contest about the reasons behind some of the blog names. I threw a huge temper tantrum during my early knitting days. I had dropped a stitch which resulted in a big honking hole in the scarf. My husband said I threw a "hissyknit" instead of a hissy fit.

Strings and Purls is also sponsoring a contest about some beautiful yarn.

Head on over to enter.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Lottery--here I come.

I won two more blog contests. Maybe my luck is changing and I need to go buy some lottery tickets.

Amanda is sending me a Knitted Scarves book and I've got needles on the way from Cass. Thank you, ladies. You have made my wedding anniversary/Mother's Day

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Weekly Warning 5/11/08

First of all, Happy Mother's Day to all! Especially to my totally demented mom and mother-in-law extraordinaire who makes a NASCAR race seem like a Sunday drive to church.

This weekly warning is dedicated to moms of all kinds (stay-at-home, working outside the home, adoptive, single, married, green with pink polka dots, in short, every mom).

Never go out of town and get drunk unless you want more kids.

Dave and I finally figured out why we were always came back with a long-term, tax-deductible souvenir from our vacations. Getting tipsy on your trips to the beach results in the loosening of eggs from your ovaries.

After chasing several mixed drinks down in Charlotte, NC, I became pregnant with Wesley. Regan resulted from a trip to a winery in St. Augustine, FL.

So take it from me, don't drink and vacation unless you want children. If you must get a souvenir, go for the obligatory keychain or the ugly tourist teeshirt.

PS--I would get tipsy on the beach again for my two little kids.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Weasel Family Picture

My sister-in-law, Tina is incredibly talented. Her eye for light is phenomenal as well as her ability to capture a family. You would never know that two seconds before this picture was snapped, Regan had been throwing an unholy fit. The back of her pretty white shirt was covered in grass stains because she refused to let me comb her hair.

We had to get pictures made because Dave is running for the Walton County Board of Education. I'm so proud of his courage and compassion for doing this.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Secret Pal 12 Starting

Go to the Secret Pal 12 blog and check back for the official sign ups! You will have a blast. I had more fun than what was legal in Georgia.

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Weekly Warning 5/4/08

Be very clear when ordering food from people who don't speak your language.

This is an oldie but a goodie. I remembered this only after a Ravelry thread in the Texas Expat group.

In Texas at Dairy Queen, there was a sandwich called the Dude. It was a huge country fried steak slapped between two pieces of bread. Throw some cheese on it with a cherry Dr. Pepper and you have nirvana on a bun.

Now, let me explain, I had and still have a Texas twang, not too bad but people from Georgia immediately know I'm not local the minute I say, "Hey, y'all." In addition, I still sprout Texasisms like "drunker than Cooter Brown" or he got a "DWI" or "the 'Boys (or 'Stros)" are gonna be great this year or "let's go wrap a house." See below for interpretations. So between my twang and my local Texasisms, I do run into problems.

Anyway, twenty years ago I pull in the drive through of my local Georgia DQ with a craving for the Dude. I absently order a naked Dude with cheese and cherry in my DP. When the lady asked me to pull forward, I didn't hear the nervous twitch in her Middle Eastern accent.

Bless her heart, she opened the drive through window to peer at me with fright. She asked to repeat and I did. Never possessing a font of patience or tact (especially when the food craving hits), I lean forward to again repeat this time more urgently and loudly.

Just then the manager (who also appeared Middle Eastern) appears. The cashier and the manager bicker in a foreign language. Personally I didn't care but where was my Dude?

The manager, now very red-faced almost to the point of cardiac arrest, inquired about my order.

When I tell him I wanted a plain old Dude with nothing on, he stiffens up and says "We do not have such things here and we run a clean business."

It was only then when I realized they thought I was there to pick up an old guy with no clothes on for some casual sex. In addition, I had the poor taste to ask for a cherry in my Dr. Pepper.

I eventually left with no Cherry Dr. Pepper or Dude because they were about to call to the police to arrest me for solicitation. Apparently, they don't have the "Dude" on their menu.

Quick interpretations:
"Drunker than Cooter Brown": You are so drunk you don't know your name. The Cooter Brown analogy is good for describing:
a) ugly people
b) mean guys
c) just all round wastes of God's time

"DWI": Driving While Intoxicated. In Georgia, it's called a DUI (driving under the influence)

"The 'Boys and 'Stros": The Dallas Cowboys and the Houston Astros

"Wrapping a house": Using a vast amount of toilet paper usually swiped from fast food restuarants or schools to artisically drape your high school enemy's front yard. This might be paired with Cooter Brown's alcoholic consumption from above.

Spouse Meme

Kimberly tagged me with a spouse meme!

Where did you meet? It was in March, 1994. I was working a part time job at Eckerd and he was a new manager. When I walked in to start my shift, I noticed the new People magazine was in. I started reading it and Dave was a sweetie to let me finish. And he didn't even fire me.

How long did you date? About 1 1/2 years. We got married about 5 months afterward

How old is he? He is 41. One year and one month older than me.

Who eats more? Depends on what we're eating. If it's sweet, I'm the pig. If it's fried, he's the hog.

Who said “I love you” first? I did about three months after we started dating. Then the fear of "OH MY GOSH" came into his eyes and he immediately left that night. Talk about throwing cold water on someone.

Who is taller? Dave. I'm a midget in in-law family of abnormal giants.

Who sings better? Dave has a wonderful voice. Me, I can't carry a tune in a bucket

Who is smarter? We're both bright in our own spots. Dave is very technical minded (aka computer geek) while I can pick up new skills very quickly.

Whose temper is worse? Well, I can snap if someone looks at me funny but I get over it quickly. Dave is very slow to anger but God help the fool who angers him.

Who does the laundry? Dave does about 75% and I'll do the rest under gun point.

Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? Facing the bed? Dave

Who pays the bills? Me and I whine the entire time. It' a wonder he's not divorced me yet.

Who cooks dinner? Both of us do.

Who drives when you are together? Dave b/c I drive like a maniac and he's always hanging to his seatbelt.

Who is more stubborn? Me.

Who kissed whom first? I think we both did. Our noses boinked.

Who is the first to admit to being wrong?
Dave. I tell you he's a saint.

Whose parents do you see the most? Every Friday night, it's a standing eat out dinner with the in-laws. My mom is in Texas and my dad died several years ago. So either way, it's hard to see my parents a lot.

Who proposed? Dave did. We were at a steakhouse on a Friday night 11/22/96 when he had our waitress briing out a giant chocolate chip cookie with "Marry me, Christy" written in icing on it. He held the ring out over the cookie. The entire restuarant apparently knew about this and when I said yes, everyone applauded.

What’s his best physical attribute? I love his smile and hairy chest.

Who has more friends? Dave. I'm a bit anti-social.

What are you most proud of him for? He is totally self taught with computers. He never took one class yet he's one of the most knowledgeable computer people I know. He also is one of the sweetest and honest guys I've ever met.

Who has more siblings? Oh, that'd be me. Six brothers and sisters. He's got a paltry group of three sibs.

Who wears the pants in the family? I think we both share the pants. Not that I fit into his jeans because that would mean I need to diet.

My tagees? Lil Knitter, Knitsabella, Tiffany, Crazzy Bunny and Cindy