Saturday, August 25, 2007

Double Dog Dare

The wildlife on our land has been playing "Double Dog Dare" for the past few days. All the little squirrels, rabbits, deer and possums know we have two large indoor dogs and two outdoor cats and they've come up with a game to test their "bravery" and "cunning".

I come home a couple of days ago. In front of my garage door is a snake. Not just any snake--a four foot long one complete with slithery body and forking tongue. Sitting right beside is Francis, our insane black cat, grooming herself, totally oblivious to this snake. I don't scream but I do pick up a broom and bravely yell at the snake to go away.

Yesterday during a torrential downpour (YAY RAIN), I open my front door to watch the rain (I'm boring) and there's a wet squirrel holding a nut staring me down. Nervy little rodent. Of course, my dogs are safely and warmly ensconsed on my couch.

Today as I walk my neighborhood, I spied the resident rabbit (we call it Cadbury) sniffing at my tomato and basil plants. It twitched its whiskers and then proceeded to turn around and moon me before it leisurely trots off with a mouthful of basil (I think).

I finish my walk and on my front stairs is a robin pooping on my railing. I wouldn't complain if he just didn't sit there having a bowel movement. The least he could do sing a few bars of a robin song or even hum it. Instead, he acted like I should fetch him a newspaper so he could catch up on Vick's suspension.

What good is it to have dogs and cats? Both cats are overfed (our fault) and the dogs, well, they are just plain lazy. They'll bark and snarl at the nice UPS women who delivers my yarn orders but a squirrel can plant itself on my front porch and be a Peeping Tom? What has to happen before our pets take action? The possum mafia invading our home, tying us up at gunpoint and demanding ransom before the dogs move from their perch?

I'd continue but I've got to go to Kroger to get some roast beef for the dogs' dinner.


Anonymous said...

Very funny!

Duckymama said...

Christy - I have these dogs in Virginia. Three of them. They bark at the UPS guy, the mailman, my husband (their favorite human) when he, oh horror of horrors, COMES HOME EVERYDAY! The mouse in the kitchen however gets a zzzzzzzzz out of them. They are on the couch asleep right now.

I have given up on the genie wish for the million dollars and world peace (someone else can have the money and someone else's wish for world peace will benefit us all).

I wish to be able to do the vulcan mind meld with the alpha dog. He is the one who starts all of the barking at nothng. Since I speak no "woof" and he only understands "outside; car ride; and do you want to go in the crate?" in English, we are limited. Sigh.

P.S. "Evry goo an poofect gif, comes from 'bove, Jame one, sebenteen" is the first bible verse my 16 year old learned when she was 22 months old. Who says toddlers cannot benefit from VBS?