Weekly Warning 4/27/08

Be very specific when you tell your child to put something on.

Regan (the future Sister Regan Claire of St. Paula of Perpetual Pain in the Bottom Convent) showed up in my living room, bee-bopping in her roller skates completely au naturale. Wearing nothing but her skates and a grin.

"Put something else on." I thought I displayed remarkable restraint but I did roll my eyes.

You have to understand this is somewhat normal behavior in my household. No one really raises an eyebrow at what my children do anymore. If it isn't hurting anything or illegal, we brush it off and hope the kids permanently block out their childhood or at least until they are legal adults.

Dave was reading the police blotter of our local newspaper looking for relatives or the latest drunk in public charges. Wesley was no where to be found. He was probably trying to sell himself on Ebay. The Collie flicked his tail in annoyance because his nap was interrupted. The old Aussie groaned and rolled over off the fireplace to lumber to calmer rooms. Apparently, I was the only one who showed a reaction.

Ray comes back in four minutes--wearing her trusty roller skates and a Spiderman Mask and still naked. Secret super hero identity, perhaps Naked Arachnid Child? A nudie conversion of "Super Hero Girl" (see previous entry for a picture Regan's earlier hero incarnation)?

"Regan. Cover yourself up!" My restraint was wearing thin and I had dropped a stitch.

"How did you know it was me?" Regan asks puzzled. How could she honestly believe I don't recognize that paper white butt and flowing blond hair? She didn't wait for an answer as her maniacal laughter echoes down the hall. From what other parents tell me, it only gets worse.

Stan Lee never had to put up with this behavior from Peter Parker. On the other hand, it's probably behavior best suited for a villain.