As I look back upon all the weekly warnings (less than three months so far), I realize that I should just pitch a tent and begin life as a carnie. I never knew how strange my life is until I wrote some (note: only some) of it down.
To highlight all of the strange, Twilight Zone moments of my life, I'm hosting a contest.
To enter, just tell me your favorite weekly warning (date only is fine) as well as one of your versions of the weekly warnings (airing of your weekly warning is totally optional). I'll draw names out of a hat. Or maybe the bearded lady will. You can link if you want for an extra drawing.
Now for the exciting part--the prizes. First place (hat drawn for those with good luck): three skeins of Louet Flare Elegance in pinks/greens/blues and two skeins of Andes wool in a heathery purple/cream. And the prize to your strangest warning (my knitting group will judge) two skeins of Gjestal Ullteppegarn in red and two skeins of it in brown. It's from Norway and it's 100% wool.
Contest ends on 4/25 at 4 p.m. EST. Non-bloggers are welcome but you'll need to post your email or at least email me yours!
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15 comments:
I'd have to say my favorite is 4/6/08. Too funny!
My version...
When someone tells you it's a pond and not concrete, believe them.
On a field trip I once jumped into a pond to prove that it wasn't actually water. It was covered in some sort of algae or something and looked like some sort of colored cement. Yes, there was a bridge over it. Yes, there was a fountain in the middle. But I was positive it was concrete. To prove my friends wrong I jump on (in)... I was soaked up to my waste, covered in that algae stuff, and had to sit by myself at the front of the bus on the way home. So, believe your friends when it comes to a water vs ground debate. Or, at least test it with your hand, not your entire lower body.
OK - here comes my very recent Twilight Zone moment.
I was flying home from Italy this week. We had to get up at 5:30 am to make a 7 am flight. We then had to change planes in Rome where there was a 3 hour wait. The flight was full of American high school kids on some sort of trip - they kept running up and down the aisles and behaving like ... teenagers, screaming "hilarious" comments and insults to each other. There were very heavy headwinds and so the flight too about 9 1/2 hours instead of the scheduled 8 hours. We arrived at about 11pm Italy time and of course we were exhausted and eager to phone for a cab. Miraculously we had seats near the front so we should be off relatively quickly so that we could get through customs and immigration quickly, I thought.
When the doors opened, we stood up and took down our carry on luggage and waited to leave. A police woman got on and said, everyone sit down, we're taking the school group off first. Well, our luggage was in the aisles and other people were in front of our seats so we couldn't but we all squoosed together to let the kids through. OK, that wasn't so bad. Then she called 2 people's names and told them they could get off. But they apparently didn't understand English, so we all stood around until they learned. OK, still not so bad.
Then a woman yelled out, "hey, we have connections to make". The police woman stopped dead in her tracks and said "excuse me?" So the woman repeats that she is trying to make a connection and the plane is already 1 1/2 hour late. The Policewoman again says "excuse me?" so the woman shouts it out even louder figuring the policewoman has a hearing problem. The policewoman then turns to me and says - yeah, well too bad, sit down, you'll be the last one off the plane. What says I? She snarls - "you heard me". I said, I didn't say anything - I've just been standing here waiting patiently. She told me that if I opened my mouth again, she'd arrest me. Like what?
At this point I knew I was in the Twilight Zone, so my husband and I decided that she was nuts enough to do something really weird and so we sat down and waited until everyone else was off, including the wheelchairs. And then we were dismissed and allowed to leave. I had thought of taking out my knitting while I waited but decided that would clinch my trip to the Clinker! Yeesh was that weird.
I loved your 4/13 warning.
And I will post this on my blog for another chance to win.
It's hard to pick a favorite but I'll go with 02/24/08...hilarious!
I can't think of any really good moments off the top of my head other than my then 6 yr old son announcing to his class one morning that his mommy was wearing boxers. I sleep in boxer shorts or pj pants...boxers this particular time....since I don't normally have to get out to drop them off at school...I just go with it. I had to walk him in this morning and he obviously felt the need to clarify...kids! They never would have known the difference if he hadn't mentioned it...I swear!!
Hugs!
I love weekly warning 4/6- my girls gave Grandpa a makeover one day while he was napping. And took pictures...
I can't recall specifics but I have had moments of deja vue, and it is so creepy how strong the feeling is.
I posted on my blog.
this week i experinced the warning of 4/13. is there a weekly kid report that they all subscribe to?
my dryer still has rocks in it from my son who filled his sock with pebbles and stuffed it in a pocket of his jeans
Well, I just found your blog, and am having a great time reading through your warnings. Heehee! I think my favorite is the 3/16/08 one with the water-filled gloves.
And I'd like to leave you, and everyone else, with this: Don't ask questions unless you really want to know the answer. Particularly if the answer is potentially embarrassing or disgusting. I have a coworker who has no shame, and I really, really wish my other coworkers would learn that lesson already.
Oh...Twilight zone moments...they are rare here, but do occur from time to time. The last one I had was in the summer of 2007. DH had exams and during the day an uncomfortable feeling crept up. Just like someone is grabbing your throat... It stayed until DH called... he did not pass for that exam. We knew from that moment that he had to go in a different direction...he found himself a wonderful job shortly after this
Hmmmm, 3/23/08
Chocolate Easter bunnies do not survive being stored near the coffeepot.
Maybe not quite so unique but when we first moved to Hawaii my mom would mail out packages to my then 2 year old daughter. My mom is a mailcarrier and has delivered some strange items so felt quite comfy mailing the strange! I am talking full pumpkins, snowballs on dry ice, big envelopes full of fall leaves, etc! What suprised us most was the easter box she mailed my daughter...all of the choc melted into a huge pool inside the box. The easiest and mundane item did not survive yet the strange and unique traveled well!
I love humor so it has to be 2/24/08.
My twilight list could go on and on. I was young and pregnant and waiting in a long line to hear Ronald Reagan speak at Sara lee foods. That alone is atwilight moment for Democratic me. However, I had to get to work and I had to tell this to a secret service guy. I was pregnant out to there and hormonal and fussing about Ronny being an hour late to speak. I told them my job needed me there more than I needed to listen to Ronny. I said it nicer than that.
So when no one was supposed to be moving around, this Secret Service man walks me across the lawn of Sara Lee company just as Ron's motorcade was pulling up. I saw a glimpse of him. I was just in a daze hoping no one would take a shot at me for breaking the rules. I was so hoping everyone knew my escort was legit. When I got in the car to go to work I thought it might have been the dumbest hormonal moment of my life. I still love Sara Lee banana cake.
I think my favourite is 4/13/08. I wouldn't have thought it would be necessary to check socks, but I will keep it in mind.
My weekly warning: don't trust that the kids sitting behind you on the bus won't fling gum at your head.
It's not unusual on our bus system to have kids running around and throwing things and ringing the bell to stop several times in a row while their parents carry on a conversation with somebody else.
I love reading about your twilight warnings, especially with your children.
One of many for me is when my now 3 year old twins were about 15 months old. I had just put the little darlin's upstairs for a nap. I had to put footy pj's on them backwards, to keep them from undressing and peeing on themselves. So, I turn the monitor on and settle down to some knitting. All quiet for a while until a spine-tingleing screen comes over the monitor. Me, thinking there will be blood and a trip to the ER, run up to find a lovely scene.
The older twin, clothed in nothing but socks, had taken her poopy diaper & her pj's off somehow,then proceded to throw them into her sisters crib, right next to her. The other one woke up to find a big pile of do-do next to her face and screemed bloody murder, can you blame her? This marked the beginning of duct tape on the diapers before bed and naps.
As an aside, the innocent was so terrified of poop after that, she would cry every time she did it and finally at 3, will poop on the toilet!
I look forward to reading more of your blog.
I vote for the 2/17, 2/24 and 4/13 combined, because clothing and I have similar relationship issues. However my warning has nothing to do with clothing.
If you want people to know where you are, don't hide for 31 years.
The full story is on my blog dated 4/5/08. Long story short, same phone number unlisted since 1977, To save $1.25 a month I switch to listed. Next day old friend does internet search and finds me after about 33 years out of touch.
I came here via the wonderful WiKnit: The Knitting Contest Blog and have posted your contest on my blog.
My advice:
Never buy a 47 year old Land Rover truck from a British guy on eBay, ship it to the States sight unseen, and expect it to be your daily driver, no matter what he claims about its condition. *sigh*
I laughed so hard at 4/6/08's post - while I'm sure I did something similar as a child, what stuck out in my mind was a bathing episode I had when I was about 5. Coming from a family of blondes, my own hair at that age was so light it was almost white (a color I would kill for now, LOL). Anyway, I was hot to trot for red hair - I would even wrap my freshly washed hair in a red towel (like a nun's head dress!) and parade around with it. So one day I got this brilliant idea (remember, I WAS only 5!) - so after my bath and my hair was washed I snuck into the bathroom and proceeded to streak my hair with a permanent red marker! Needless to say, my mom wasn't thrilled with the results - although nowadays I guess I'd be right in fashion, LOL.
Never did dye my hair red as an adult.......hmmmm
This may not fit here but it's a Twilight zone moment nonetheless and it still freaks me out to this day so I thought I'd share......
When my son (who is now 18) was 5 years old, we lived in this really small hick town in Ohio and from our street to the main street, you had to cross the railroad tracks. There were no bars that came down, just a red flashing light that made loud dinging sounds warning you of a train. I was driving along, looked both ways, crossed the tracks and as soon as the tail of the car was across the tracks my heart almost stopped. As I looked behind, there was the train, already 3/4 of the way past me. there's no explanation as to how I got across the tracks. I didn't see a train, hear the dings, nothing, but there it was, already almost fully past and there must have been 100 trailer cars on that thing easily. I had to pull over and take a breather. I turned and looked at my son and he said "mommy, we just drove through the train".........I was in shock to say the least and never spoke of it again. I just figured I was nuts and it really didn't happen until one day when my son was about 15 years old and out of the blue he says "mom, remember that time when I was little and we drove through the train" I was in shock and still am about the whole experience and still have no explanation
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