Saturday, January 31, 2009

Weekly Warning 1/31/09

Wear a pair of non-hole-y underwear while vacuuming your car.

Dear People Who Own the Vacuum at the Service Station,

Please find enclosed several bills:

The first bill is for $34.95. This is to replace my pants as the hole in your vacuum hose sucked my pants off my leg.

The second bill is $1.09. This is to replace the Diet Dr. Pepper your hose sucked up and then threw up on my black leather boots.

The next bill is for $54.99. Cost of replacement to aforementioned boots.

The fourth bill is for $65.00. Cost of steam cleaning my brand new car’s carpet to remove regurgitated Dr. Pepper.

The last is for $15925.00. This is the cost of relocation across the country to head off any embarrassment suffered by me on account of your monster vacuum and your insensitive employees.

Please note that I know that adults should not wear Scooby Doo underwear in case something like this happens but this does negate the fact that your vacuum cleaners are destructive.

Pantlessly yours,

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