Weekly Warning 9/14/08

Wardrobe malfunctions are not limited to the Janet Jacksons of the world.

I had to really, really go to the bathroom one day while I waited for court case to start. I was a underpaid, overworked caseworker stuck in a hot juvenile court waiting room. My office required all women caseworkers to wear hose, heels and dresses/skirts. Never mind that the hose was chafing my thighs or my heels were rubbing blisters on my feet. I was dressed to the nines.

I snuck out and found a bathroom to do my bidness. Ladies, if you read this, you can understand the intense relief you feel when you peel off the hose and let your legs breathe. I did just that and I reveled in the coolness. I even went so far to splash cold water down my bra. I'm telling you it was hot. Georgia in August is not for the weak.

I stomp back to discover my seat was taken by my supervisor (the witch). Fifteen minutes go by and I'm thinking that bathroom break might have done the trick. I wasn't sweating at all.

I should have known something was up. I mean that literally. The office attorney grabbed me and told me my skirt was stuffed up inside my panty hose. So basically, I was displaying my white Lady Hanes bikini underwear and panty hose for all the criminals to view. And to think no one said a word for fifteen minutes including my hag supervisor.

So there, Janet Jackson. You may have flashed your boob to the world but the Juvenile Court of Hall County Georgia knows I wear clean underwear.