Weekly Warning 7/6/08

Watch your cooling apple pie very carefully.

Fourth of July means good old apple pie, right? That's what I thought but in our household, the apple pie is complimented with a large dash of Collie. I'm getting ready to put the pie on the cooling rack when I had to leave the kitchen because of "bam" in the living room.

BIG, GIANT, FATAL errors on my part add up to Independence Day Mystery. Put on your Nancy Drew mask and let's reconstruct the crime.

1. The opportunistic Collie (Zack) who apparently is starving to death is in the kitchen
2. The defenseless apple pie who was minding its own business onto my stove
3. The clueless person (me) who thought the opportunistic Collie could be trusted because he did pass agility classes.
4. The pint-sized minion of the opportunistic Collie (Regan) who unwittingly played into Zack's monstrous paws.
5. The allegedly "cheerful" holiday family gathering which was about to start.

This all adds up to me screaming like one of the dumb blonde victims in a Friday the 13th flick.

I come back into the kitchen to find Zack licking Regan's sticky apple filling fingers--Exhibit A. A perfectly snout shaped hole in the middle of my pie--hmmm, Exhibit B. Dutch apple crumb topping ground into my floor in the shape of a canine print--Exhibit C. I think we have enough evidence to convict the Collie for Aggravated Assault on a Pastry. Regan should be charged with Accessory to Assault.

I never did find out what the "Bam" sound in the living room was. Methinks, there's another accomplice in the shape of an obese senior Australian Shepherd.

PS--You were right, Lil' Knitter.