Weekly Warning 7/27/08

Dust under your furniture before you move the couch.

I knew there were dust bunnies the size of dinosaurs under my couch. The pair of fuzzy slippers and complete set of Spiderman dominoes didn't surprise me. Basically, I was shocked to find Jimmy Hoffa's body not under my couch.

When Dave and I picked up the couch to rearrange our living room, a streak of blue fuzz with a wagging whiplike appendage flashed under as we struggled to keep it from crashing down. Zack had spotted a two inch slice of rawhide and made a dash for it. Nevermind Zack cannot detect a 12 point buck wandering by our front door or a gaggle of religious zealots proclaiming that we're going to die tomorrow while parading down our driveway. But he can zero in on a minute piece of food.

To make matters worse, I cut my left pointy finger on a spring while holding the couch aloft and cannot knir nor typf.

Weekly Warning 7/20/08

When pulling up signs (such as political, garage sale, etc), please be careful that you don't grab a snake instead of the stake.

Being the considerate treasurer of divaD's campaign (see previous weekly warning), I decide to help pull up signs to declutter our beautiful community.

But the flimsy metal stakes can be tricky. Coupled with kudzu (a parasitic ivy that is rapidly covering the state of Georgia), I had to reach down and yank. I was rather surprised when the stake came up quickly and was about to throw it in V-ger's trunk when I realized the stake moved.

Yep, I had yanked up a king snake instead of the metal stake. Wailing does not even begin to describe the sound that came from me.

I hate politics.

Dave Won!!!

Yippee. The results just came in and Dave was elected the new school board rep for our district! He received 60% over his two opponents. I'm so proud of him!

Weekly Warning 7/13/08

Just because a truck driver honks at you, don't automatically assume it's your cleavage.

I was driving down the interstate in V-ger, our Silver Dodge Avenger with the sun roof open and jamming to, well, I'm not going to say because I'm embarrassed. Oh, all right, Rick Springfield's Jessie's Girl.

A trucker in a chicken truck passes me, honking and waving. I think, "Wow, this tank top must make me look busty." And I'm sort of flattered. I mean, maybe the gray in my hair doesn't show as bad as I think. The cowlick in my bangs is actually pretty. No one can see the giant deflated balloon that is my belly.

Another passes and honk. And then a couple of more. Now I'm getting mad. Who do these guys think I am? Some sort of desperate, easy gal? Some sex-starved individual?

When I get to my destination, I get out and my ego gets a large jab. Regan had switched all of Dave's BOE election magnets (and I have four on V-ger) upside down. The truckers were just pointing them out trying to help Dave. Who would vote for divaD for your school board representative if he can't spell his own name?

So in the end, I guess I won't be getting that phone call from Vogue but at least I can still vote for divaD.

PS Regan has not yet been put for adoption. Check back later for updates.

SP Question of the Week

1) Where is your favorite place to go for vacation/holiday?
2) Where is one place you’d like to go?

I absolutely love Charleston, SC. I also loved going back home to Texas to Galveston. Charleston for the sheer beauty and history and Galveston for the plain fun of it.

Both Dave and I really, really, really want to take several weeks and see Ireland and Great Britain. I don't know why but I've always been drawn to Ireland. Maybe I was a leprechaun in a former life.

Weekly Warning 7/6/08

Watch your cooling apple pie very carefully.

Fourth of July means good old apple pie, right? That's what I thought but in our household, the apple pie is complimented with a large dash of Collie. I'm getting ready to put the pie on the cooling rack when I had to leave the kitchen because of "bam" in the living room.

BIG, GIANT, FATAL errors on my part add up to Independence Day Mystery. Put on your Nancy Drew mask and let's reconstruct the crime.

1. The opportunistic Collie (Zack) who apparently is starving to death is in the kitchen
2. The defenseless apple pie who was minding its own business onto my stove
3. The clueless person (me) who thought the opportunistic Collie could be trusted because he did pass agility classes.
4. The pint-sized minion of the opportunistic Collie (Regan) who unwittingly played into Zack's monstrous paws.
5. The allegedly "cheerful" holiday family gathering which was about to start.

This all adds up to me screaming like one of the dumb blonde victims in a Friday the 13th flick.

I come back into the kitchen to find Zack licking Regan's sticky apple filling fingers--Exhibit A. A perfectly snout shaped hole in the middle of my pie--hmmm, Exhibit B. Dutch apple crumb topping ground into my floor in the shape of a canine print--Exhibit C. I think we have enough evidence to convict the Collie for Aggravated Assault on a Pastry. Regan should be charged with Accessory to Assault.

I never did find out what the "Bam" sound in the living room was. Methinks, there's another accomplice in the shape of an obese senior Australian Shepherd.

PS--You were right, Lil' Knitter.

Happy Independence Day!

For all US citizens overseas and here at home. May your hamburgers not flame up, your favorite beverage (beer, wine, or Diet Dr Pepper) be ice cold and your apple pie not be eaten by Collies.

you are lightgoldenrodyellow #FAFAD2

Your dominant hues are red and green, so you're definately not afraid to get in and stir things up. You have no time for most people's concerns, you'd rather analyze with your head than be held back by some random "gut feeling". Your saturation level is very low - you have better things to do than jump headfirst into every little project. You make sure your actions are going to really accomplish something before you start because you hate wasting energy making everyone else think you're working. Your outlook on life is bright. You see good things in situations where others may not be able to, and it frustrates you to see them get down on everything.

the spacefem.com html color quiz

SP Question of the Week

1) What yarn (that you don’t have/haven’t used) would make your stash “complete”?
2) What yarn do you never want to be without?

I would love to knit quivet but that pesky food bill gets in the way.

My most favorite yarns in the whole wide world are and in no particular order

1. Fleece Artist (for the color)
2. Katsara Yarns (again the color)
3. Atacania Yarns from South America. They are complete joy to use.