Weekly Warning 12/28/08

"Nothing says Merry Christmas like a headless Joseph and a giftless Magi."

Some highlights from a Hissyknit Christmas:

All I can say is "Thank God" the Nativity stable and resin statues are from Rite Aid. Wesley decapitated poor Joseph, Baby Jesus has a chip on his shoulder (literally) and one of the Magi is missing his gift. Regan put her Optimus Prime action figure on top because "he beat the angel". Miley Cyrus' tacky little coat from Ray's Hannah Montana doll covered the sheep.

Regan poured Diet Dr. Pepper in our tree's water basin because I said it looked droopy. A line of ants infiltrated the Star Trek "Q" ornament because he was too close to the basin of Dr. Pepper. Some omnipotent being--he didn't know ants were attracted to sugar.

During Christmas Eve Mass, our priest made the mistake of giving porcelain bells to my children to ring during a specific part of Mass. I'm sure the nervous tic above his eye isn't permanent.

Peppermint candy canes do not freshen a Collie's breath contrary to Zack's attempt to do so.

Vanilla foot lotion causes chapped feet as the Aussie licks off any application of it.

Smoked ham thrown on the floor during a fit is an effective way to cause Mommy to slip on her tailbone.

There's more but the glue between Joseph's head and torso is dried and Regan is finished coloring Jesus' shoulder with a Sharpie--it looks like a rather large birthmark or giant bug on Him. I'm off to get a head start on my New Year's Eve celebration.

PS--I wouldn't trade my Christmases for a million bucks.