Again, trying to go the cheap route and make my own moisturizer. I found a recipe for a rich lotion with coconut oil, cocoa butter and get this--raw honey. Yes, you read it right and you probably are thinking that me making this is a mistake. You are right again.
I'm happily melting all the ingredients and come to the honey. It called for 2 tablespoons of raw honey. I had approximately half of it and I figured, "Hey, what's the difference between Karo syrup and honey. Both are sticky and really good in baking."
Also I justified it in thinking Martha Stewart always improvises and we're not that different. Sure, she has dozens on staff, is obsessive about quality and has been to jail. In retrospect, we're not all that much alike. I don't have a staff except a lazy Collie, I'm not that concerned about using Cool Whip as opposed to making my own whipped cream and while I've been inside a jail, it was to visit a client whose child I had put in foster care and not for insider trading.
When my concoction cooled, it felt heavenly on my face. I was so eager to show Dave my "new face" that I tripped over several piles of clean clothes and landed on the carpet. Since there was no bleeding, I continued on my journey to impress Dave.
Dave and Wesley were watching a "Big Bang Theory" when I called out. Wesley looked over and jumped a good two feet in the air.
"Mom, you're growing fur." Wesley had a horrified look on his face. (Tangent here: Wesley's concern was not over my apparent Rogaine overdose but rather me picking him up at school looking Scooby Doo's cousin)
I turned my hands over to discover my honey moisturizer did not dry smooth but like fly paper. All the dog hair on the carpet stuck to me when I fell in my bedroom. My hands were as hairy as a Yeti. I had also managed to grow a bluish goatee (thank you Zack the blue merle collie).
I dived back out of sight to clean up before Wesley decided to take a picture of the new Bearded Lady who pays blackmail money to an eleven year old.
P.S. I did make a really nice beauty oil for my face minus the honey. I've been using it for a month and could not be more happy with it.
Love, Love, Love Face Oil
1/2 ounce coconut oil
1/2 ounce shea butter
1 teaspoon sweet almond oil
1/2 teaspoon vitamin E oil
A little bit cocoa butter (about a thumbnail size)
1/4 teaspoon beeswax
Combine all in a double boiler. Melt until the beeswax is almost melted. Remove from heat and stir with a Popsicle stick. Pour it into a clean container with a dropper or other top. When you use it, pour out 4-5 drops. Rub your hands together to warm it and apply to face. I use this every day after cleansing.
