Thursday, July 7, 2011

Warning: There is no suicide hotline for chipmunks

Nervy little rodent or deeply depressed squirrel whannabe?

As I type this, there is a small chipmunk peering through the glass in my front door. I'm almost afraid for him. And the fear is not from our lazy cat, Phat Phrancis who, I notice, is lounging four feet from the chipmunk, slowly cleaning herself.

No, I'm afraid of what Zack the Collie will do to our door once he sees this intruder. Borrowing from Dr. Doofenschmirtz, there is a back story to Zack and chipmunks. I won't bore you with the details but once upon a time, Zack swallowed hole a baby chipmunk which he promptly threw back up. Poor hubby had dispose of the slimy animal. So, dear readers (and I am sorry if the details of Zack's food intake made you sick), I am sure you understand my anxiety.

Back to the present time. I don't know if the chipmunk wants to end its' life via through the jaws of a Collie or if the chipmunk equivalent of peer pressure is at work.

"Oh, come on, Fred! The dog is old and not as fast as he used to be. Oscar was asking for it when he got swallowed. I double dog dare you to ring the doorbell," says Petey the delinquent leader of the Chip's Crips. Petey smiles as he elbows other rodents.

And you know what? As Zack FINALLY spies his nemesis and is well on his way to a collision with double pane glass, I now officially don't care if the chipmunk makes it out alive. I just want an estimate on a new front door.

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