Warning: I'm the Anti June Cleaver.

Top Ten Reasons I'm not June Cleaver:

1.   My children learned the alphabet by reading fast food restaurant signs.

2.    I often give the phone number of Child Protective Services to Wesley.

3.    I've threatened to put Wesley and lately Regan up on Ebay.

4.    I refuse to put up my children's folded clothes. Instead, I, in my role as Supreme Dictator, demand that my children put up their own clothes.

5.    I deliberately cook stuff I know my kids won't eat so Dave and I can eat together after they go to bed. {Before anyone whines, I do cook them something easy}

6.    I wear weird clothes to Science Club while picking up Wesley at school after the meetings.

7.    I ask for the family discount for circus tickets when Wesley threatens to run away to join the circus.

8.    I demand a kiss from Wesley when he wants ice cream money.

9.    I sit outside under the shade drinking a cold Diet Dr. Pepper while Regan is picking up sticks and Wesley mows.

10.  I eat the curly-q thingee off the top of a Dairy Queen ice cream cone before I hand it to my kids. It's payment for stopping, don't you know?

BONUS 11.  I plant squash and other vegetables on Wesley and Regan's Facebook FarmTown Farm knowing they hate squash and zucchini.